146 A: How Do I Feel Now?

My last post was a dare. For three days I did not know whether or not I wanted to share my video. Too intimate? Too private? I wanted to be sure I did not force myself to share something I would rather have kept to myself. Eventually I decided to go for it. Why? I explained in my last post. But even after posting the insecurities were not gone. I showed a lot of myself. I have said it before: This was a soul striptease. That's why every like for this post means the world to me, and my friends' "I watched your video. I thought it took guts." filled me with relief. She had seen me naked and she had liked it. Writing the piece on complimenting myself yesterday I was busy reacting to the hate mail I had been receiving in the last weeks. I focused on formulating my arguments. Now that that is over I can feel: This was a lot. A good lot, but a lot. And: I want to fill in the "How do I feel?" blank again. For right now. I feel proud for sharing this. I feel a bit timid whether or not I opened up too much. Most of all I feel amazingly grateful for all the people who read my post and said, "You are beautiful." Writing about other people is one thing, trying emotional exhibitionism is another. I want to shout out a huge thank you to the community reading this blog for supporting me not just while complimenting but also while undressing my innermost feelings. Thanks for turning my emotional nudity into a beautiful experience. 
This project would not be the same without you-- and I would not be the same person either. Thank you for carrying me through this marathon with your encouragement and validation. For making me feel appreciated, not only doing what I am doing but also being who I am. 
You rock.